Understanding Your Young Teenager

The early teen years are a time of turmoil and tempest. Rapid changes in physical appearance on the outside are mirrored by changes in brain growth and development on the inside. Most parents have little information to help them understand their young teenager. In this article, the first of several to explore the normal traits and characteristics of the young teen we will look at the normal search for independence. This period of growth is sometimes referred to as emergent adolescence. It’s important to remember that each teen is unique, growing and developing at their own individual pace. Some race ahead of others, some lag behind. The information outlined in this article is to be taken as merely a guideline for normal adolescent development.

Growing Towards Independence

Your young teenager is engaged in a struggle with sense of identity. This struggle often involves taking extreme positions in defiance of family values. The young teen may disavow allegiance to the religion they were raised in or, paradoxically, become more conservative in their religious views than their parents. He or she may decide that education is a waste of time. It may be noticed that they turn more and more towards peers to find their values. These movements towards independence should not frighten parents. Research has shown that by the time the young teen reaches their mid-twenties, they return to more traditional family values.

The young teen often feels strange about their looks and their bodies. The bodily changes that accompany emergent adolescence can be sudden, advanced or delayed. Often, because of images received from wider society, the young teen makes unfavourable comparisons between their body and what they see in the popular press and sometimes what the encounter in sexually explicit material. Girls will worry about breast development; boys will worry about penis size. It isn’t often they talk to their parents about these things but they can, at times, be a source of anxiety for the young teen.

There is often a highly focused sense of self in the young teen. At times having high self-esteem and at other times low self-esteem. Their expectations can be unusually high or unusually low in terms of how they view themselves at home, school or in the community.

These wide variations in their sense of self, their core identity are normal and to be expected. The young teens interest in clothing and appearance is usually heavily influenced by their peer group and at this stage of life we often see extremes of hair style and colour and experimentation with body alternations such as tattoos and piercings.

Every parent knows that the young teen can be moody. One minute they are up, the next down. One day they love you and want to be near you. The next they hate you and never want to be seen with you again. Most of these mood changes related to the rapid shifts in metabolism in the adolescent. A growing and changing body carries with it rapid shifts in hormone levels. Parents should not be alarmed by these mood swings. Although at times they may represent problems in development (we will explore these issues in another article in the series) usually they are just the expected shifts in mood.