It is not uncommon for children, even under 5, to have difficulties with anxiety. There are a number of conditions in childhood that are characterised by severe anxiety and these include school refusal (school phobia), social phobia, elective mutism, separation anxiety disorder and a variety of phobias. Just how and why some children succumb to these difficulties is not clearly understood as yet but there is often a clear family correspondence. You often hear parents say, “Oh, my grandmother was so nervous all the time, she rarely left the house.” or something along those lines.

Children on the autistic spectrum often experience severe anxiety however because their communication difficulties can be quite severe they tend to act out their feelings rather than talk about them. It is important for parents of these children to be vigilant to any signs of behavioural disturbance and thoughtfully consider that the child may be anxious about something.

There are times when life events can cause a child to be extremely anxious. An unfortunate common example is the overly harsh teacher who shouts and punishes the class or other children. It is well documented in the literature that a child does not have to be punished him or her self to be upset by harsh criticism or discipline. In cases like this the most vulnerable children in the class will often be the first to show signs of anxiety, usually at home, even though they may not have been the target of the teacher’s words or actions.

What do I do if my child is experiencing anxiety?

The first thing to do is to talk to your child (if possible) about their feelings. Say something like, “It seems to be you have been upset a lot lately, is there anything I can help you with?” Open ended questions often lead to useful information. If the child identifies a source of anxiety then you can try to resolve the problem. Speak to people who may be able to change something in order to help the child relax more. It may be necessary for you to inform someone that their words or actions are causing upset to your child. Don’t be shy about doing so. After all, it’s your child’s health that is at stake.

If you can’t solve the problem and your child continues to suffer or develops severe symptoms such as panic attacks, uncontrollable sobbing, bed wetting or other significant behaviours then you may need to seek professional help. Anxiety difficulties are often easily treated with cognitive behaviour therapy and a short course of counselling can be extremely helpful and often totally resolve the problem.